


Mind Melt

by AstrisDreams



Category: DCU (Animated), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstrisDreams/pseuds/AstrisDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artemis gains the ability to read minds. Or in which, Artemis is traumatized, Robin is horny, Zatanna is a sex deprived monster, Wally is a uke, M'gann is a sexual deviant, Connor likes to play games, and Kaldur just thinks Artemis is pretty. Because Young Justice is a group of hormonal teenagers lacking adult supervision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind Melt

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me while I was sleeping. It's crack just for the record complete and utter crack so enjoy

"Artemis are you alright?" Kid Flash asked worriedly. 'Please, please, please be alright. I couldn't bear the thought of anything bad happening to you.'

"I'm alright. Sheesh quit with the theatrics." She mumbled, "I just have headache."

"Okay good." He mumbled helping her up, 'I swear her whole existence doesn't make any since. How the hell does she have blond hair and grey eyes she's Vietnamese! Same with Kaldur and M'gann. My teammates are a bunch of genetically challenged freaks.'

"I am not a freak and neither are Kaldur and M'gann."

"Did I say that out loud?" Wally blushed, "Sorry."

"Whatever lets just back to base."

* * *

'I have failed the team yet again.'

"Kaldur it's not your fault." Artemis said patting him on the back. "We all make mistakes."

"Artemis you are most kind." Kaldur smiled, 'And most beautiful.'

"You think I'm beautiful?" She blushed.

Kaldur flushed, "I didn't realize I said that out loud, but yes I do."

"Thanks."

* * *

It wasn't till later at debriefing did she realize what was going on.

' _Batman looks exceptionally scrumptious today.'_ Zatanna said, _'If only I was a bit older.'_

Artemis coughed loudly looking around nobody seemed to have heard Zatanna but her.

"You okay Artemis?" Robin asked.

"Fine but didn't you hear Zatanna?"

"I didn't say anything."

"What but I-uh never mind." Artemis said, shock running through her body, I can read minds. What should I do? I could tell M'gann nah she'd probably tell her Uncle and they'd find some way to get rid of it. She would enjoy this while she could and if it became too much then she'd tell somebody.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Batman asked. _'Maybe sending them out to fight Psimon wasn't a good idea.'_

"Oh yeah definitely I just had a little mind blank for a second but I feel fine now!" She grinned, "Just peachy."

"If you say so." He muttered continuing the debriefing, _'Werido.'_

Artemis scowled her grin dropping as she glared at the older superhero.

_'Wally and Dick aren't listening again.'_

Artemis gasped covering her mouth as everyone turned to her and turned it into a yawn. Robin's real name was Dick. She snickered to herself she was so gonna have fun tomorrow.

"Pay attention." Batman growled at Wally and Robin who had been playing Rock Paper Scissors.

_'You don't scare me Bruce.'_

Artemis coughed patting her chest, "Sorry about that chest cold." She said. Batman's name was Bruce. Bruce and Dick? OMG Bruce Wayne and Dick…Grayson. That little troll!

' _Why isn't he flinching in fear? When did I become so unscary? Why is Zatanna looking at me like that? Kaldur has way too much baggage. I wish Clark would drag his ass in here and speak to Superboy.'_

This time Artemis reeled in her shock because honestly who didn't know Clark Kent was Superman. Not like it made any difference he was just as bulletproof in costume as he was out of costume.

_'Nobody's paying attention. Fuck it all I'm going home, Richard can stay here I don't feel like dealing with him tonight.'_

"Debriefing over. Robin you can stay here tonight." Batman said walking away.

_'Look at that ass. Work it Batman. I still can't believe there's an older me that got with all of that.'_

Artemis shuddered, Zatanna had some serious issues.

"You up for a video game marathon?" Robin asked.

"Dude you know it."

Artemis went to the room grabbing a book and making her way to the common room and sitting on the couch. She flipped on the book pretending to read as she listened to her teammates comments.

' _Artemis has a nice butt. You know who else has a nice butt Wally. Heh heh Wally has a bubble butt and nice legs. If only I was gay I'd so tap that. Zatanna looks flustered. She looks hot flustered. I'd tap that too.'_

Artemis blinked as she stared at Robin in shock and hidden horror. Who knew the boy wonder was so horny.

' _That chemistry! They're so gay for each other. I wonder who would top? Everyone says Wally cause he's older but Robin would definitely be the dominant one in their relationship even if he is only two feet tall. OMG they're play wrestling now. How hot would it be if they started making out? Kiss, kiss come on kiss.'_

Zatanna was staring intently at the wrestling forms of Robin and Wally on the floor as if willing them to kiss.

' _I wonder what I should make next. I haven't tried pie yet and Wally said that everybody likes pie.'_

_'I wonder if Artemis is okay she's been really quiet lately perhaps I should inquire about her health.'_

"Seriously Baywatch when are you gonna grow up."

"Whenever you decide to take the huge stick out your ass."

' _Why would she put a stick in her butt? Is that one of the sexual kinks the Genomorphs informed me of. Me and M'gann haven't tried that one.'_

Connor, Artemis thinks, knows a lot more about human culture then they realize.

* * *

She wakes up early the next morning and is on her way to the kitchen when she hears voices and giggling.

She peers around the corner and feels her mouth drop, Wally is sitting on a counter top while Roy goes around cooking him breakfast.

"Don't forget the bacon."

"All that bacon is gonna go to your thighs."

"Who do you think I am? Artemis? Besides incase you haven't notice I have nice thighs and legs. In fact my whole body is a beautiful specimen waiting to be explored."

' _Very nice legs. Shit I'll do the exploring especially of the mouth and ass.'_

So she can still hear thoughts and apparently Roy is gay for Wally or at least just wants to screw him. Talk about unexpected.

' _OMG fucking make out already do him on the counter top!'_

Artemis whips her head around and sees Zatanna on the other side of the kitchen watching the two redheads with barley-contained glee.

It's kind of disturbing and although she admits it would be hot if Roy went after Wally like he so obviously wants to. but Zatanna has serious problems. She suspects it's from her father locking her up and forbidding any interaction with the opposite sex or people her own age for so long.

"Admit it Roy." Wally grins wrapping his long, (dang his legs are pretty nice) legs around Roy's waist and bringing him closer. "You think I'm smexy."

' _Dude if this isn't a big enough sign.'_

"So smexy I can barley control myself." Roy deadpans, ' _Seriously I can't I'm about two seconds from ripping your clothes off and no! Bad Roy, naughty thoughts lead to naughty actions.'_

_'So close screw him on the counter! No wait that's where we eat! Take him to the couch and screw him there!'_

_'Take me, take me now. I swear to god Roy!_ '

Her teammates are clearly sex deprived not to say she isn't but it's pretty sad.

"I don't know how you expect me to make you breakfast with your legs wrapped around my waist." Roy sighs.

Wally nuzzles his neck, "You should come by today."

"I'm here now."

"That's not what I mean."

_'Shit he's pouting look away Roy! Look away!'_

Artemis shakes her head; she's going back to bed it's too early to deal with all this sexual tension in the air.

* * *

_'Robin is looking fine today. I'll be the future Catwoman to his future Batman. I've always wanted to be a dominatrix.'_

"Dude are you blind? Flynn Rider is the hottest Disney prince ever!" Wally argues.

"Is not! Aladdin is!"

"Why are you two arguing about the hottest Disney princes?"

"Cause we did the girls already." Robin answers, ' _Duh. Why else we would bother about the dudes. Ah boredom at it's finest. We should have an orgy? I wanna bang Zatanna and watch Roy bang Wally. Or Zatanna could bang me. Gosh I'm horny.'_

"What were the results?"

"Ariel's first."

"Jasmine is a close second!" Wally interrupts.

"Anyway after that it's Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, Esmeralda, Megera, Kida, Snow White, Elsa, Tiana, Jane, Anna, um who's left?"

"Belle, Mulan, Rapunzel, Cinderella and Merida."

"Half of those aren't even princesses! And Sleeping Beauty has a name it's Aurora.

"Whatever s'not like anyone cares and the only hot official Disney Princesses were Ariel, Jasmine, and Pocahontas so we had to add in the other girls. Anyway we finished the guys were trying to decide who should be first Aladdin or Flynn Rider."

"Dorks."

_'Robin my sultry preteen love. Why must I worship you and never tell. Robin you make my girlhood tremble.' (1)_

Artemis glanced at Zatanna and saw her eyeing Robin's body like an animal in heat.

**Recognized Red Arrow B06**

_'Roy's here! I wanna rip his costume off him and lick chocolate off his chest.'_

_'Yes. I have the perfect plan.'_ Zatanna cackled evilly as all eyes turned to her.

_'I think I'm in love! That laugh! And she's hot! Not as hot as Wally, or Babs, or Roy or Kori. Dang I do have a thing for redheads. She's still hot though!'_

Artemis scooted closer to Wally grinning at the glare on Roy's face. "Roy's looking pretty hot in that outfit wouldn't you say." She whispered.

"Damn straight." Wally nodded, before glaring at her, "Find your own piece of man meat."

"Let's play a game." Zatanna said.

"What kind of game?" Connor asked

_'I hope its Candyland I like that game.'_

' _Is it the lets strip all the boys down to their boxers game I'm good at that. Me and Wally make a great team.'_

Artemis wonders if Robin is gay or if he just has gay tendencies. She sees the way he stared at Zatanna's ass and decides its just gay tendencies.

"It's the dare game."

_'Phooey. I like the games I play with Connor better. Who knew Kryptonite handcuffs would come in handy some day.'_

Artemis stares in shock M'gann sweet innocent M'gann is a sexual deviant.

"I'm down." Wally shrugs.

The rest of the team plus Roy agree and they sit in a circle.

"I'll go first. Wally I dare you to answer this question. Depending on your answer I'll change your outfit into something that suits it."

"So you're daring me to choose what outfit I'm gonna change into?"

"Yep."

"Okay, are you a seme or a uke?"

"What is that? I don't know."

"Choose."

_'Even if he says seme I'm giving him the uke outfit.'_

"Um okay let's see uke like ukulele. So seme is um I don't know so I'll go with uke."

"Yes! Eku a otni yllaW nrut!"

There was a bright flash and Wally appeared in a short French maids outfit with a pair of cat ears and a tail.

"What the heck? Are you sure this is what a uke wears?"

"Positive."

' _I'm sure this is what a uke wears. If Roy doesn't have his way with you I will.'_

Wally let out a huff crossing his legs before freezing, "You put me in lady's underwear!"

' _Stay strong, stay strong. Don't succumb to the weakness.'_

_'I could just turn myself into a dude and screw him myself.'_

"I have makeup on too! You know what, fine! Artemis I dare you to sit in Kaldur's lap."

She shrugged getting up, "I don't care at least I'm not dressed as a uke."

"Shut up." He muttered sticking his tongue out.

' _Put that tongue back in your mouth unless you're gonna use it.'_

"My turn Robin I dare you too strip to your boxers."

Robin frowned getting up shimming out of his uniform revealing tight red boxer briefs.

' _OMG I think I'm in heaven. Robin I'm gonna rape you tonight.'_

_'Zatanna is staring don't get hard Grayson don't get hard. Everyone will know'_

_'I can see up Wally's skirt, he's sitting like a dude I have the perfect view I could just.'_

_'I wish Connor would strip he looks so fine shirtless.'_

_'M'gann is staring at me she must want sex again. I hope she uses the whip again.'_

_'She put me in a thong and heels and fishnets. What goes on in her twisted mind? Roy looks so hot right now'_

_'Artemis is sitting on my lap she's so pretty.'_

"That's it!" Artemis shouted standing up. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Arte-"

"Shut up! I've been listening to your thoughts all day. Roy, Wally wants to screw you as much as you want to screw him but we all know who'll be getting plowed. Roy take him to his room and fuck his brains out already."

Wally blushed opening his mouth but was cut off when Roy pulled him to his lap kissing him.

"M'gann you and Connor get up to some freaky-" she trailed off realizing they were already gone distantly she also realized she could hear groans coming from the directions of the rooms.

"Zatanna you are one messed up freak! I hope Roy and Wally fucking each other's mouth satisfies your fangirling. Batman is out of your league and go fuck Robin before he decides he's gay. Robin stop trying to hide your erection and let Zatanna screw you. Yes I know what I said. She's a dominatrix she'll be doing the screwing. Also your fucking Dick Grayson and we will not laugh about this one day!"

Robin swallowed nervously as Zatanna crept toward him dragging him out the door despite his whimpers.

Artemis turned to Kaldur sitting back on his lap, "I think you're really pretty too. Err handsome." She said kissing him.

She realized she could no longer hear thoughts and smiled she had gotten rid of all the sexual tension on the team. Artemis smirked at the thought she was the most badass superheroine in existence.

 


End file.
